7 Comments Add yours

  1. Hey, Nice content! 🙂 Keep up the good work

    1. Thanks. 🙂

  2. Elizabeth says:

    This was interesting, though I would say as a mom I think of myself as interested rather than nosy. Of course my daughter disagrees.

    1. I will agree with your daughter. My mother is quite nosy. Throw in that she’s Jamaican and the nosiness worsens tenfold! 😂

  3. onehotmess says:

    I’m glad you included the last paragraph about parents who don’t care – for those of us who did not have parents who were engaged with their kids, who didn’t seem to care despite doing what we could to “make them proud”, from us kids who didn’t ask for much because we were afraid of being a burden…sometimes it isn’t us who are broken, it’s them. We who had parents that maybe didn’t fit the worst kinds of parents, the obviously abusive ones, but still, some of us grew up in a grey zone of not having parents who cared but who made sure we were fed, and went to good schools and had lots of rules but not a lot of a relationship. And we felt like it was our fault. We felt guilty for feeling this way because I mean, it’s not like they were physically abusive. But there in that statement is a kind of hint – by having to stoop to “physical abuse” as the lowest level of “bad parent” I can think of, one step up from that is neglect. Neglect comes in many forms and emotional neglect is a kind of abuse. I tried to “raise good parents” but as an adult now I am coming to realize it wasn’t my fault and I’m never going to have the parents I wanted.

    1. I’m sorry to hear you had that relationship with your parents. I had both ends of the spectrum. My mom was a very involved parent, but then moved to another country when I was a pre-teen. My biological father was abusive and only got involved in my life when he wanted to tell me I was a worthless piece of sh*t, or to hit me. I had the police called to my house on multiple occasions. He lost custody of me when I was 16, and the judge in Jamaica allowed me to live on my own even though that’s not legally allowed until you’re 18. My grandma was appointed as my official legal guardian.

      That said, I never had a desire to please my biological father or make him proud. His opinions never mattered to me. I tried to please the people who invested me ie my mom and my stepdad.

      My mom did appear lukewarm through some of it though, so I also know what that feels like. I think it was just too much and she started to shut down emotionally, and I got the blunt end of that for a while and had to deal on my own without either parent for support.

      So that’s the bit of history behind why that line was added. I lived through it myself. And I was out by 16 and never looked back. My mom and I never lived in the same country again until I was 25 years old and moved to Atlanta.

      All the best! Don’t let bad parents make you feel like a bad kid!

Leave a Reply