Earlier this year, I wrote about Beyoncé’s politically charged Super Bowl performance and the scandal that arose in its wake. Half the world praised her for giving Black empowerment a moment in the media, while the other half branded her a racist and threatened to boycott her music.
Beyoncé made no apologies and paid no heed to the angry mob. Instead, she later followed up the performance with the release of Lemonade. Since its release, the album has inspired critical acclaim, a whole new host of pop culture references… and the witch hunt for one very elusive “Becky”.
In her song Sorry, Beyoncé stated:
He only want me when I’m not there He better call Becky with the good hair
Brilliantly Bad Decision
In hopes of capitalising on the spotlight thrown on Beyoncé yet again, two staffers of Glamour devised a brilliantly terrible plan. They fired back at Beyoncé’s Becky with the Good Hair by posting:
I had to see it to believe it. I couldn’t believe that anyone living in a multicultural society, like America or the UK, could be so bloody clueless as to why this would be inappropriate.
The responses on social media further brought perhaps the biggest embarrassment any lifestyle and entertainment brand has faced in quite some time.
Glamour Magazine is not Alone
But I would soon learn that Glamour staffers weren’t the only ones who didn’t quite get it. Many people actually have no idea what this means.
The following day, while Michael and I drove back from the gym, I asked him if he had heard about the incident.
To put things into context here, let me just inject the necessary detail that my husband is White.
Michael raps, has more Black friends than I do, and knows more about Ebonics than I will ever care to learn. Yet, even he was clueless as to why the article was offensive, and as to what on Earth the phrase “Becky with the good hair meant”.
“Isn’t that the whole thing about Jay-Z cheating on Beyoncé?” he asked me.
“Becky isn’t the point. Don’t you know what ‘good hair’ means?” I asked incredulously.
He didn’t.
It was at that moment that I had to step back and re-evaluate what I believed should have been common knowledge and fairly obvious. After all, I come from a predominantly Black country, whereas America is… well… America.
So let me explain why this is not just another minority-tantrum like the many that make it through the media.The History Lesson
Of all the angry tweets directed at Glamour, this one summed up the root of the problem best.
The keywords here are “historical significance”. This is because the phrase good hair wasn’t coined by Beyoncé for Lemonade, or even by 90s rap. It’s been a part of the Black Movement and the Black struggle since the days of slavery, and is deeply rooted in the journey of Black women (and men) from properties to human beings.
To keep slaves compliant, they were taught that their natural features made them somehow less worthy of rights and freedoms than other races. This primarily included the colour of their skin, and the texture of their hair. Coincidentally, these are the two most distinguishing features of what it means to be Black.
After slavery, as civil rights movements took shape and Blacks received their first chance of assimilating into regular society, these differences posed a problem. But while Black skin brought no inherent inconveniences besides people’s personal biases, Black hair did.
Let me explain how.
The Struggle is Real
For most Black women, our hair is still a part of that daily struggle – especially in an era where personal appearances mean so much. Our friends of other ethnic groups and mixes can easily throw their hair into a ponytail in five seconds. But our frizzy hair obeys no law and no man.
Even in the corporate world, many of us are forced to ditch our natural hair, because corporate thinks our kinky locks are too naughty for regular business operations. And at my Catholic school, every ethnic hair-do was banned in the rule books, and as we tried new ones – like my signature Mickey Mouse puffs in seventh grade – those were quickly outlawed, too.
But ironically, the people who notice our hair the most? – is us. While other teenagers mostly worried about body image issues and acne, we worried about that and our hair. Maybe mostly our hair.
Many of us have tried everything – perms, presses, cornrows, braids, and just cutting the damn thing off. Sometimes we’ve done so much crap to it, it just falls off on its own…
And all of that to conform to what regular society decides is good hair – which is essentially not our stubborn kinky hair. Good hair is the Black Community’s bitterly-spoken name for obedient, soft, silky smooth locks of the Mixed, the Asians, Latinas, and of course White folks.
It’s worry-free hair; the hair of the models they put in Pantene ads, and the girls on Pinterest with an effortless bun on the top of their heads.
In contrast, our naturally dry, frizzy hair is bad hair. We are taught from an early age through dolls, school rules, corporate expectations, and the media that our genetically gifted natural hair is not sufficient, fashionable, or appropriate.
To soften the message, the media often puts forward an image that kinky (or nappy hair) looks like this:
This is true to an extent, but more accurately, this is what African hair looks like when a woman is mixed. In other words, if Michael and I had a daughter, she would likely have a similar hair type to either of these two women. Often times, these hair-types become grouped with good hair because it’s “less Black”.
But for most of us, our hair looks a bit more like this:
Imagine trying to get hair that kinky to meet society’s professional, beautiful, and neat standards, like these Beckys with the Good Hair.
And then imagine the overwhelming pressure to meet these expectations. We quite literally get chemical burns from relaxers and heat burns from press combs just trying to keep up. As one tweep summed it up nicely:
The Way Forward
Of course, things are changing now. Many corporations “allow” us to wear our natural hair without causing a fuss. I, for instance, wore my dreadlocks when I worked at Xerox Business Services.
Similarly, many magazines, fashion shows, and movies also feature Black women who embrace their natural heritage; whether they have bad hair, good hair or something in-between.
As we grow older we learn what works for us, and we accept that we’ll just have to spend more time and more money on making our bad hair good enough to meet societal expectations.
In fact, Beyoncé made a strong statement by refusing to chemically alter her daughter’s hair – at least, not yet. However, when that same Queen Bey – the most powerful female symbol in the Black Community – hires a team to make her look like a Becky with the Good Hair, you know we still have a ways to go…
Some groups of people are totally perplexed about another race of people.
This is true also. That’s why exposure is important. We live in a multicultural society so that really shouldn’t be the case.
Read between the lines UK and America, Beyonce was referring to something that is so old and really not worth getting mad over, the black woman has been brainwashed to the point that she is resorting changing her appearance to suit the entertainment business and just life period, on the inside you can’t change who you are, Beyonce’ comments, because she is a celebrity makes something to talk about, the public feels she shouldn’t sing or make certain statements, sometimes it is a wake up call. Cultural awareness, mixed relationships will bring mixed children, their “Hair” isn’t always kinky or always straight, sometimes either,or. For every action , there is reaction, I am not surprised by what I see or hear on the media, but some people make will blow it up to mean something else.
Agreed. It is what it is. But like I said, aside from the brainwashing there is also dealing with corporate and schools who tell you point blank that your ethnic hairdos are not allowed.
I love my natural hair and wear it in locks. My husband loves it too. But it’s not always as well received at work, or by former partners.
In the 70s Afros were at least nominally accepted so much that Afro perms were launched for white people (my mum had one) and Afro combs were in every schoolgirl’s bag. I wonder what changed and why?
You’re so right. I’ve often wondered about that as well. I’d probably have to dig deeper to figure that out. Great point!
Man..I enjoyed reading this post. I particularly liked how you pointed out the difference between nappy hair and the images the media usually puts out there. And you clearly explained the issue without coming off as belligerent. Awsome post. Im gonna share this all over the place
Thank you so much! I did try to ensure I kept it conversational and honest but objective. I’m glad it came off that way for you too! By all means share it everywhere. I’m flattered.
The media needs to get with it, it places black people in same category, I have often been told that my hair is like white people, I am medium brown complexion person, medium length hair. I wish for more thicker, longer, and coarser hair, some white people looks silky soft but feels like burlap the point is that, embrace the beauty of your hair, it is by choice to wear wigs,glue, crochet, sew, braid, it is all an extension of beauty!!!😄😄😄
This is true! And good for you in taking that mindset.
However, whether we accept our hair or not, we do have corporate laws and school rules that don’t accept them. It’s not based on beauty, but on discrimination and the pressure to meet those rules to go to good schools or keep good jobs.
Good grooming is good hair, whether it be short, long and in between, good grooming is the key to good hair. There are different textures of hair, and mind you all does not constitute good or bad hair, the color of your your skin or your complexion means nothing. It is up to you to care for your hair with the many kinds of products on the market.
This is true, if the point is centered on beauty.
But there are other points made here. I touched on how hair texture as a whole is sometimes blanketed as unprofessional or inappropriate for certain settings no matter how clean or well groomed.
What is well groomed to one set might not be well groomed for another.
Yes you are a smart young lady. As you know Entertainers cater to the masses about how they wear a costume or makeup, something to that affect, Beyonce’ may wear the “Becky Hair “look but I feel it is safe to say she catering to the public, she is not changing her babe look because she wants the child to know that she is beautiful in her skin(hair), as for herself, I believe at home she is a natural, most men like their women as is, lol, as for chemicals, really are a black women’s nightmare, because that can’t change the natural was, but it is an extension of beauty, right I wear my hair straight and limp, I hate it , I like to change so if I have to wear a wig I will or roll my hair on paper to get me an Afro , sister I
love
I knew what it meant from the time I read the phrase… I am now pondering “how” I knew? Great write! You’ve explained your point well and I love your writing style…. conversational yet passionate. Looking forward to more!
Thank you D’Marie. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
Maybe just as I thought it was common sense, it resonated with your own common sense as well.
Some people have a better understanding of foreign cultures than others just through exposure. Kudos to you! That takes an open mind and one capable of making connections even when they aren’t very obvious ones.
Reblogged this on The Hair Lab and commented:
Interesting comment on hair and historic significance.
I’m glad to have “Discovered” this post. Thank you! Twenty-five years ago, my boyfriend was taking an African American Studies class in college and the professor introduced the class to a film called “400 Years Without a Comb.” We watched it together, and it was enlightening for me, as an 18 year-old, white woman, to learn about the deep connection between slavery and a comb. It’s a low production film, but I’ve always remembered it. Your articulate post reminded me again. I found a summary and link to the movie on Black Naps. Thought I’d share it here: http://blacknaps.org/2011/05/10/400-years-without-a-comb/
Thank you Jessica! Your experience reminds us all of the importance of an education that covers all the bases, and not just our own culture and comfort zones.
Thanks so much for sharing that. Husband and I are currently on a roadtrip to Illinois, but will check it when we get there!
Thanks again.
I have been taught that beauty is on the inside. One can be adorned beautifully on the outward appearance. I believe well groomed hair is among all people. You can tell when someone has styled, and brushed, combed, and worked with their hair. Hair is the glory of the woman, and it doesn’t matter what race, nation, or nationality.
Older women allow the gray to show, and it is beautiful when it is well-groomed, and styled. Some color their hair, and it makes their face look softer . ..if they use a lighter color to enhance it. I love a neat, well-dressed person who manages their hair, and brushes off the dandruff, and excess hair that fell on their apparel.
This is true, and I agree.
However the struggle with black hair goes beyond beauty.
For instance, my Catholic school didn’t ban ethnic hairstyles for beauty. It was banned because it was inappropriate by their standards. And jobs ban them because “they don’t look professional”.
This is altogether a more difficult experience, since we are genetically gifted with that look, and must often change it to go to good schools or have good corporate jobs.
My hair was always hard to manage. I used vinegar and water to get the shampoo out when I was young. This was before conditioners. I believe good hair of all types is good, because someone takes the time to manage it into a hair style that looks wonderful. The outward appearance is for society, and others, but I believe the sweetness comes forth from the heart. Bitterness, angers, and resentment can make a pretty face less beautiful. I believe when you shine on the inside, your face is aglow. I don’t shy from the cultures around me, because I taught school to beautiful children who loved me because they saw my soul, not my outward appearance. I dressed well, but my skin was different. I never heard any inappropriate comments from them, or their parents. I taught them well because I knew their road would be difficult. I have put in my years of teaching, and I am retired. I think with wisdom about the children I taught, not knowing what they became. They do hug me when they see me. They don’t run .
This is great advice and a great outlook. We need more people like you in the world, but the sad reality is that there isn’t.
The real world is not as embracing or forgiving. It’s changing and that’s for sure but we still have a ways to go.
Alex, I taught one country class in Missouri, and was transferred to Tennessee. I had my child, and then began teaching. I taught in the inner city schools for 19 of 20 years, and four years to put my husband through school. I never had many problems with the students. They loved me, because I taught them to work hard. Many had poor, study habits, and they loved to cut up in class. I tried to give them vision of becoming somebody when they grew up. They saw my vision, and worked hard for me. Some were always playful, and full of mischief. I tried to inspire , there is a time to work, and a time to play. Study is work when you have a long way to catch up.
I believe education is important as well. This is only one of my websites. The other focuses purely on the education experience. It’s called http://www.collegemate.org. Feel free to check it out. Maybe you can provide some insight!
Much thanks. I did look at this. So neat, and informative. I wish you well.
Thank you! Trying to harness my great experiences back in college to help others. All the best to you Rubie!
Thank You. I wish you the best!
My family is black and white and we have all sorts of hair. One of my nieces chemically altered her hair when she was young. Now she has what God blessed her with, and she shines. If truth be told, I wish I had never started dying my hair. The older I get the more I realize we are all given gifts by nature. It is sad people in the media have no clue.
Thank you! My family is also multicultural. Black, White, Indian… so lots of variation here too. Unfortunately, I think there was still always a ranking of hair in the family based on whose was easier to comb to make it neat, based on society’s expectations.
My family was not supportive of my natural look, or my decision to lock my hair. But like you said, we shine in our natural looks – whatever they may be! They love it now though.
So true, finding the right products to comb a little one’s hair it a project in itself.
Yes, especially when all the little ones have different hair types.