Earlier this year, I wrote about Beyoncé’s politically charged Super Bowl performance and the scandal that arose in its wake. Half the world praised her for giving Black empowerment a moment in the media, while the other half branded her a racist and threatened to boycott her music.
Beyoncé made no apologies and paid no heed to the angry mob. Instead, she later followed up the performance with the release of Lemonade. Since its release, the album has inspired critical acclaim, a whole new host of pop culture references… and the witch hunt for one very elusive “Becky”.
In her song Sorry, Beyoncé stated:
He only want me when I’m not there He better call Becky with the good hair
Brilliantly Bad Decision
In hopes of capitalising on the spotlight thrown on Beyoncé yet again, two staffers of Glamour devised a brilliantly terrible plan. They fired back at Beyoncé’s Becky with the Good Hair by posting:
I had to see it to believe it. I couldn’t believe that anyone living in a multicultural society, like America or the UK, could be so bloody clueless as to why this would be inappropriate.
The responses on social media further brought perhaps the biggest embarrassment any lifestyle and entertainment brand has faced in quite some time.
Glamour Magazine is not Alone
But I would soon learn that Glamour staffers weren’t the only ones who didn’t quite get it. Many people actually have no idea what this means.
The following day, while Michael and I drove back from the gym, I asked him if he had heard about the incident.
To put things into context here, let me just inject the necessary detail that my husband is White.
Michael raps, has more Black friends than I do, and knows more about Ebonics than I will ever care to learn. Yet, even he was clueless as to why the article was offensive, and as to what on Earth the phrase “Becky with the good hair meant”.
“Isn’t that the whole thing about Jay-Z cheating on Beyoncé?” he asked me.
“Becky isn’t the point. Don’t you know what ‘good hair’ means?” I asked incredulously.
He didn’t.
It was at that moment that I had to step back and re-evaluate what I believed should have been common knowledge and fairly obvious. After all, I come from a predominantly Black country, whereas America is… well… America.
So let me explain why this is not just another minority-tantrum like the many that make it through the media.The History Lesson
Of all the angry tweets directed at Glamour, this one summed up the root of the problem best.
The keywords here are “historical significance”. This is because the phrase good hair wasn’t coined by Beyoncé for Lemonade, or even by 90s rap. It’s been a part of the Black Movement and the Black struggle since the days of slavery, and is deeply rooted in the journey of Black women (and men) from properties to human beings.
To keep slaves compliant, they were taught that their natural features made them somehow less worthy of rights and freedoms than other races. This primarily included the colour of their skin, and the texture of their hair. Coincidentally, these are the two most distinguishing features of what it means to be Black.
After slavery, as civil rights movements took shape and Blacks received their first chance of assimilating into regular society, these differences posed a problem. But while Black skin brought no inherent inconveniences besides people’s personal biases, Black hair did.
Let me explain how.
The Struggle is Real
For most Black women, our hair is still a part of that daily struggle – especially in an era where personal appearances mean so much. Our friends of other ethnic groups and mixes can easily throw their hair into a ponytail in five seconds. But our frizzy hair obeys no law and no man.
Even in the corporate world, many of us are forced to ditch our natural hair, because corporate thinks our kinky locks are too naughty for regular business operations. And at my Catholic school, every ethnic hair-do was banned in the rule books, and as we tried new ones – like my signature Mickey Mouse puffs in seventh grade – those were quickly outlawed, too.
But ironically, the people who notice our hair the most? – is us. While other teenagers mostly worried about body image issues and acne, we worried about that and our hair. Maybe mostly our hair.
Many of us have tried everything – perms, presses, cornrows, braids, and just cutting the damn thing off. Sometimes we’ve done so much crap to it, it just falls off on its own…
And all of that to conform to what regular society decides is good hair – which is essentially not our stubborn kinky hair. Good hair is the Black Community’s bitterly-spoken name for obedient, soft, silky smooth locks of the Mixed, the Asians, Latinas, and of course White folks.
It’s worry-free hair; the hair of the models they put in Pantene ads, and the girls on Pinterest with an effortless bun on the top of their heads.
In contrast, our naturally dry, frizzy hair is bad hair. We are taught from an early age through dolls, school rules, corporate expectations, and the media that our genetically gifted natural hair is not sufficient, fashionable, or appropriate.
To soften the message, the media often puts forward an image that kinky (or nappy hair) looks like this:
This is true to an extent, but more accurately, this is what African hair looks like when a woman is mixed. In other words, if Michael and I had a daughter, she would likely have a similar hair type to either of these two women. Often times, these hair-types become grouped with good hair because it’s “less Black”.
But for most of us, our hair looks a bit more like this:
Imagine trying to get hair that kinky to meet society’s professional, beautiful, and neat standards, like these Beckys with the Good Hair.
And then imagine the overwhelming pressure to meet these expectations. We quite literally get chemical burns from relaxers and heat burns from press combs just trying to keep up. As one tweep summed it up nicely:
The Way Forward
Of course, things are changing now. Many corporations “allow” us to wear our natural hair without causing a fuss. I, for instance, wore my dreadlocks when I worked at Xerox Business Services.
Similarly, many magazines, fashion shows, and movies also feature Black women who embrace their natural heritage; whether they have bad hair, good hair or something in-between.
As we grow older we learn what works for us, and we accept that we’ll just have to spend more time and more money on making our bad hair good enough to meet societal expectations.
In fact, Beyoncé made a strong statement by refusing to chemically alter her daughter’s hair – at least, not yet. However, when that same Queen Bey – the most powerful female symbol in the Black Community – hires a team to make her look like a Becky with the Good Hair, you know we still have a ways to go…
Recently, a patron at my library requested the DVD “Good Hair” with Chris Rock. The significance of the title left me scratching my head of moderately manageable hair. Your post informed me of your culture’s struggles and the historical significance of “good hair” “bad hair”. I appreciate the humor you inject along with the lesson. That said, I have not seen the Beyonce video. On a side note, media images that make women feel inadequate or ugly are a big bummer, there are so many varieties of beautiful that are not represented.
Haha that’s awesome. I think I’ve seen that documentary. I’m glad this finally put that into perspective for you, and that you enjoyed my dry humour. I’ve been told it’s too British for American taste sometimes lol.
I agree about media images and their habit of portraying women badly. I do believe some things should not be glorified, like being an unhealthy weight (overweight or underweight), and whatnot. But making a certain ethnic mix, height etc (the things we have no control over) a bad thing is a terrible way to show appreciation for women.
All that is good and true, but sadly “Becky” is just basically another way to say “white bitch.”
That I can’t speak to. I’m Jamaican and “Becky” is not a part of our dialect. I leave that part to the Americans to decode. We don’t have any such derogatory slang for White people in Jamaica.
Americans do have some hateful things in our language/many dialects. So do many others.
Sometimes I think it’s a sign of the times we’re living in. It’s disgusting really. Speaking from a 30+ perspective though, I’ll say it wasn’t always like that. Everyone used to get along for the most part. (apart from the few racist a-holes)
It’s like our society is eating itself whole. It makes me wonder sometimes. If the crazy conspiracy theorists that say all the time that the world is going to end are right. Maybe it will just all come crashing down. & Maybe just, maybe – it will be the fault of man.
Not that Jamaica doesn’t have some hateful words too, but it’s usually not a racial thing.
I’m not sure everyone always got along. There was always tension, but definitely not like this. Maybe it was just more hidden? Now everyone’s got the internet as a platform to “anonymously” voice their opinions.
I just think everyone is going nuts. It’s just how I see things from my pov these days. Maybe we all are? Maybe it’s just me. I don’t know. Maybe we’ll all know when we die, but I don’t know that either.
I do however know some Jamaican slang. I’d say the bad words here but I’d probably offend someone. Haha! I grew up in an area where a lot of my neighbors were Jamaicans, Egyptians, or Puerto Rican, and Mexican. The words I’ve picked up over the years…
Haha. Oh yes, we have plenty of “bad words”. I always find it funny that they never censor them on air in America.
A lot of issues led to the current racial tension, but hopefully they get fixed over time. And sooner rather than later.
& I see it from both sides. I get it. I’m in an interracial relationship as well. We got some crap from both sides in the past. <3 Love is love. 😉
Agreed. Funny enough, I don’t think we really have racial issues in the relationship. It’s all fun and jokes for the most part.
I am not above going “yes massaaa” when he unintentionally tries to order me around. Then he looks at me with this WTF face like he’s not sure if he should say sorry or just laugh lol. I know, I’m terrible. We’re not as sensitive about racial issues in Jamaica. I’m a little baffled sometimes by how sensitive African Americans are… but we definitely share the good hair sentiment.
It’s the same with us. My love is Guyanese and I’m Sicilian so we joke about each others everything-really. He only just said “You talkin’ ta me?” pokin’ at my Italian-ness with and I cracked up laughing. Our cultures both certainly have histories but in the cities where we’re both from those lines at times don’t exist. In that world, we’re just a couple of city kids, with city kid things in common.
I’ve found in the past, long ago, the arts bring everyone of every race, ethnicity and background together. That’s why I spread it. & I see you’re doing that here too, so beautifully.
Keep sharing, Alex. I look forward to getting to know you and your work. 😉 <3
Haha. That’s a good mixture! I think it’s great to be able to laugh those things off.
We take things way too seriously here. I’m sure you probably notice he isn’t as sensitive about some issues as African Americans here. I think it’s because back home, we’ve had the “privilege” of not being subjected to “White rule”, which shatters that feeling of being disenfranchised from the right to rule ourselves. I’m not sure if that makes sense or not…
I look forward to sharing with you guys. I post on Wednesdays and Sundays! 🙂
It makes plenty of sense, Alex. We are subject to a lot of idiots and certainly as you said, “white rule” here for centuries.
I do like seeing things beginning to be diversified and changing. We are all so beautiful lined up together in our many cultures and backgrounds. It only adds to the beauty of this planet itself. I only wish we didn’t have to live amongst such hate as well, but hey one day at a time, right?
-And as for Wednesdays and Sundays, that’s some people’s favorite days over here. 😉
I think the hate is more from ignorance than anything else. Too many people using the internet as a platform to preach, rather than a platform for learning.
What makes Wednesday and Friday favourite days?
They seem to be high traffic days for some of us here. Seems to be the time of week or something.
Yes, this is true. The issues with the Muslim community definitely spilled over as well to include all immigrants, and then encompassed all minorities.
I’m not spiritual, but I can respect your opinion. I’m glad this provided the opportunity for you and others to tackle these issues in a healthy and non-discriminatory way.
& I don’t even blame it for happening. It was the explosion of a building up of things.
It was a trainwreck a lot of us saw happening on both sides.
I wrote about Trayvon. That entire story still breaks my heart because Trayvon easily could have been my son too.
Sigh.
This is the part where I tell my close friends to *insert spirtuality here* but I don’t often share that on the internet. I’ve been saying to hell with political correctness these days though.
You are good conversation, Alex. 😀
This reminds me of an article I read years ago about how Michelle Obama wears her hair. I think that might be how I knew what the phrase meant. Thanks for your post, will be following! 🙂
Hey! That’s one of the best posts I have resd today 🙂 nice analysis, interesting interpretation. Still, I believe that the stereotypical approach not only to hair but also to everything is going to exist no matter what. Though today’s cultural opennes can actually get up a step closer to achieving a “cultural appreciation” in any field.
Good luck in the future posts ☺️👑
animat16.wordpress.com
Thanks so much! I’m flattered! I’m glad you enjoyed the post.
You’re probably right, but by not trying to do anything at all we’re basically giving society permission.
Good luck with your blog as well!
Awesome post!!! You’re a great writer!!!
Thanks so much! I’m flattered!
You’re welcome! 🙂 Would you mind reading one of my posts and letting me know what you think?
Sure go ahead and email it, so I’m sure I don’t miss it. My email address is in the contact me section of the website.
Thank you so much! 🙂
Nice!
love this !!
Thanks for this – I had no idea about any subtext to this phrase, and your post was interesting and informative. I’m glad I know now! (P.s. I think your locs are gorgeous)
You’re welcome Becki! Thanks for reading and commenting. It’s definitely a loaded phrase within our community.
And thank you! I do love my locs as well. Best decision I ever made appearance wise.
Haha I have this almost prophetic wool hair and I’m as white as can be.
But this whole beyonce album has just been amazing it’s opened up some incredible dialogues and I mean for this kind of depth in a pop album. Just incredible!
Keep up the awesome work!
You’re absolutely right. The Beyonce album does create a platform for dialogue, which is better than the gossip pop culture usually inspires.
Thanks for reading and the kind words!
Almost forgot. Interesting that you got the wool hair. Why do you think that is? Has anyone ever given you a hard time about it?
Actually no I have to say I live in a place that is incredibly wonderful. It isn’t the full wool that I would see on some of my friends who are of pure african or sometimes middle eastern decent but it is fairly wooly for a light skinned caucasian.
I think there are becoming less and less places that do not see the other characteristics of african or middle eastern heritage as beautiful.
Least here in Canada.
I pity those that can’t see the beauty to be honest.
I understand that. My grandmother has hair like that. She’s Irish, Black and Indian. Mostly Irish, but looks more dark skinned Indian than anything else – mixed genes for you.
I could be wrong, but I don’t think Canada has the racial tension America has. At least, not as bad. I’d love to visit too. I thought of moving there once. Canada is very good friends with Jamaica, more so than the US.
We must be because we have a lot of Jamaicans in Canada and they are awesome! In the last two places I worked I was super good friends with Jamaican woman lol they are so funny it’s ridicilious.
It’s true I don’t think we have those tensions. Mostly the reason is due to our poverty and socio-economics. Poverty in Canada is more oriented to our first nations groups as this is the historically rooted. So where in the United States African-Americans and Mexican-Americans or Latinos are the brunt of the racial/poverty victims and thus the ones talked about in unfair terms that spot is taken mostly by first nations here in Canada.
It’s terrible but whoever is in poverty are the ones that are normally spoken against. You mentioned Irish look at the North it’s the poor loyalist and nationalists that get blamed for everything even though they get all the shit.
It’s a portrait that repeats itself in every country just with different groups.
This is true. I’ve always wondered how that played out in Canada since Canada never had slavery and was historically always against it.
I still want to visit though. I hear the hiking trails are amazing up there! Lots of mountains and all.
It’s so nice! We’d love to have you in our awesome country hah!
Haha! Then I look forward to visiting, if not this year then the next. 🙂