This post will offend a lot of people – and that’s okay. Sometimes people need to be offended. Having our boundaries tested forces us to rethink and reconsider some of the things we have come to accept as normal and acceptable.
My First Eye-Opening Experience
I must have been eight or nine when it happened…
My family and I had moved to a rural town in Portland, Jamaica, with virtually nothing to do. Thankfully I had always been an active and outdoorsy child, so dirt and bicycles kept me busy.
One day, while I was running wild in the backyard I noticed a group of people shouting and screaming obscenities next door. The yards weren’t fenced off, so I went to see what all the fuss was about.
People had armed themselves with rocks, sticks and machetes. They looked so angry that I thought maybe a thief was about.
“What happened?” I asked one of the adults.
He told me two batty-gyals* had been on the property. They hadn’t done anything explicitly sexual, but apparently the two had been kissing.
I was so confused. I had never really thought about gender and sex when it came to relationships, and my family had never mentioned it before, either. If they had, it must have gone in one ear and out the other.
I just couldn’t understand why it was an issue if two females shared a smooch.
My parents kissed all the time! What was the big deal?
In the end I chalked it up to cultural differences and the weird world of adulthood. When I got home I decided not to ask my parents about it. I figured they wouldn’t be able to give me a better explanation.
Out for Blood
A few weeks later, the boys were away and I was left to roam the outdoors by myself, yet again. When I tired of my own yard, I ventured next door. That’s when I saw them. They were just little girls – barely older than myself, if at all.
I don’t remember what they were doing – maybe kissing or touching. But I remember the look of fear in their eyes when they realised I had seen them.
I resolved to keep their secret and turned away, but adults appeared out of seemingly nowhere, and the hunt was on.
No one seemed disturbed by the fact that they were experimenting at such a young age. The offence was that they had experimented with each other.
One girl grabbed the other by the hand and they fled across the property into the bushes with a mob of angry adults behind them. I feared for their safety, but didn’t know how to help.
That was the day I chose sides.
I chose to side with the victims rather than the oppressors.
I never told my parents about that, either. I had the vague suspicion that they would be like the other adults and think those two girls should be hunted and hurt for their preference.
Living the Example of “Tolerance”
In fact, it wasn’t until high school that my biological father cornered me about my support for the LGBTQ movement.
At the start of tenth grade, I had made friends with a tom-boy in class, who was rumoured to be gay. I’m not sure how he found out, but someone had apparently thought it fit to tell him.
In truth, at the time, she was still struggling with what she was or wasn’t, but that meant little to me. Today she identifies as a lesbian and is in a steady, long-term relationship.
“You need to stop hanging out with that girl,” he told me.
“People are talking.”
I shrugged in response. “She’s my friend,” I told him. “I don’t care what people say.”
“People are saying you’re gay, too!” He practically choked on the words. It was almost a threat.
“I don’t get why that’s offensive,” I replied with another shrug. “People can say whatever they want. I don’t care. I’ll take it as a compliment.”
He was infuriated. “I get that you don’t want to fit in!” he bellowed at me. “But why must you always fit out?!” Then he stormed off to his room and shut the door.
The arguement never came up again.
LGBTQ Activism in College
By the time I got to college I was pretty firm in my support for the LGBT community, which pitted me against many other people my age. During that time, I made friends with three gay guys and a lesbian.
Through them I learned all the inside terror of being gay in Jamaica, and the fear of coming out. Today all three guys are still buried deep in the closet out of fear for their lives. As for the girl, she married a Canadian woman, but later ended the relationship.
One guy did come out to his parents in 2014. When I asked him how it went, he told me his mother had cried a river. But thankfully, she accepted him for who he was and eventually became a pillar of support for him.
You need that when you have the misfortune of being gay in Jamaica.
The Most Homophobic Country on Earth
For those of you who don’t understand how this could be any worse than being gay somewhere else, let me put things into perspective for you.
While Jamaica is known for beautiful beaches, friendly people, and chill music, Jamaica has also developed a reputation for being the most homophobic country on Earth.
While good old Bob sang a great deal about “One Love”, few people have put that into practice. In fact, reggae itself has become a vehicle for homophobic ideologies. Not only do artists condemn the LGBTQ community, but they also condone maiming and killing them.
This has led to music bans around the world for Jamaican artists like Buju Banton, Bounty Killer, Beenie Man, Bobo Ashanti, Sizzla, Capleton, Elephant Man, T.O.K., Bounty Killa, and Vybz Kartel.
Ironically, these artists are some of the biggest and most successful on the island. Some are singing slightly different tunes now in order to tour worldwide, but this has done little to stem homophobia in Jamaica.
In fact, in 2006, Times Magazine called Jamaica
“The Most Homophobic Country in the World”.
While Americans and most other nations have been fighting for marriage equality, Jamaican LGBTQs are fighting for the legal right to even be gay! Gay men have it the hardest in Jamaica. Sexual intimacy between men is punishable by law, with up to ten years of imprisonment.
This is supported by not just one law against buggery, but four!
There is no official law against lesbianism, but lesbians face their own fair share of worries. While living in the capital city, I personally knew one girl who was forced out of our neighbourhood by men, after they found out that she was gay.
I’m not sure by what means of force they got her out, but when I returned from summer vacation she was long gone. Though her best friend at the time was my roommate, I never saw her again and I was asked not to speak of her in public.
She feared for her life.
Hope for Jamaica
Since then, a lot of things have changed for the better regarding the LGBTQ movement, but still not enough for any of my male friends to crawl out of the closet. Jamaica is still considered one of the most homophobic nations in the world, and gay acts are still illegal.
Hopefully with time things will continue to change. Maybe fellow Blacks will begin to understand how similar the LGBTQ journey is to our own (yes, I said it!), and fight along with the community to help them obtain their rights.
After all, who else should understand their story better than we do? – when we were travelling the very same road, not too long ago. Or perhaps that’s all just wishful thinking.
Only time will tell.
In the meantime, I hope a homophobe or two might begin to reconsider their take on the community and understand how their hate crimes affect the lives of innocent people – even children.
*Batty-gyal is a derogatory term for lesbians in Jamaica.
*Originally published November 30, 2015
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Thank you so much for sharing! I had no idea Jamaica was so anti-LGBT. Where I come from in rural parts of Kansas, USA definitely was pretty homophobic. It’s slowly, slowly changing. Two young men a few years older than me in my small hometown even came out and are openly in a relationship with each other. But it’s so sad when people are scared to simply exist the way that they are!!
Yes. I can only imagine how stressful it is for them to pretend to be something they’re not and live in fear. Gays higher up the social ladder have a better chance of ‘getting away with it’ in Jamaica. And my generation is more accepting, I think, but generally speaking, homophobia is still pretty bad back home.
How horrible for everyone. All that hate for no reason. I had’nt heard of this and am so glad to have read your article. Eyes opened!
Thank you for reading and commenting Kira. It’s definitely a tragedy, but hopefully things will change soon.
If only people could live and let live
Easier said than done, it seems.
I just came across this post today. Well said. This issue is something that continually needs to be addressed. There are many factors that are unknown. I honestly had no idea the injustice towards homosexuality was so massive in Jamaica. It’s awareness such as this that helps to understand the phenomenon. Thanks for the insight!
Hi Lauren. Thanks so much for dropping by. Jamaica has gotten better but we still have a long way to go. I’m glad to have raised some awareness in my tiny corner of the Internet, though. And I hope it inspires a homophobe or two to reconsider their hatred and fear.
Sexuality has always been a major issue particularly in the developing world there is proof that there has been homosexuality for centuries but its all been hushed up because of fear of the stigma it brings all we can do is to be open let people be no forcing of ideals on each other though its hard work i think its the way to go
Hi Lisa! Homosexuality has definitely always been around, both in the the human population and animal kingdom for a long time. I know someone with a gay dog!
It is important that we stop forcing people to conform to our own ideals of what’s best, especially when what a couple does to each other behind doors does not affect the rest of us.
hmm a gay dog thats interesting
true true when we finally let people be who they are then these petty conflicts will end and the world will be a little less hostile
Well the dog always seems more interested in the boys than the girls, and particularly likes going after male golden retrievers at the dog park haha.
But you’re right. The petty conflicts need not continue. We should have evolved past that by now.
There are many things I love about Jamaica but I was shocked when I saw an interview with the Jamaican musician Shabba Ranks (I think that’s his name) from the early 90s where he said that homosexuals should be ‘crucified’ – it was shocking and the interviewer rightly put him in his place after his unacceptable behaviour. I also read some unpleasant things said by Beenie Man – very backward behaviour and I hope one day these people will learn to be more tolerant and open minded people.
Hi Nicholas! I hope they learn too. They belong to the older generation and have very archaic ideals.
I would say my generation is more tolerant, but we’re not the ones governing and making rules.
Shabba Ranks is notorious for his homophobia. Beenie Man has since retracted his statements so he can tour, but I doubt altruism or a change of heart had anything to do with it.
Thank you for this post, I had no idea!
You’re welcome, Birdie!
I had no idea that it was against the law for men to be gay in Jamaica. I knew and heard from a lot of Jamaicans that live here in South Florida how much they hate and despise gay men.
The black churches here do not support the gay community, but they’ll take their money to keep funding the needs of the church. The bad part is that their very secretive about their hate for the gay community. Thanks for posting this.
Then you’ve seen it firsthand then. But yes, that hatred is both supported by, and helps support, anti-buggery laws in Jamaica. That’s what they use to make being gay illegal.
My generation is definitely more open, but we’re not the ones making the rules and governing the island. And even then, I would say the majority of Jamaicans are homophobic regardless of age. It’s ingrained in our culture.
It’s came from listening to the whispering of conversations from church folks. It’s another reason I haven’t walked inside of a church since my mother’s funeral.
I believe it’s one the reasons that people are divided. People are too easily offended and scared to speak their mind. It’s good to see people like you who are not afraid to open their mouths or speak their mind.
Yes, people in the church back home are usually the most hypocritical about homophobia.
One tried to tell me how much it was an abomination, so after letting her rant for a while, I asked her if she was married. She said no. I asked if she was a virgin. That shut her up. I reminded her that the bible and her God sees all sins as equal and that me and my gay friends would save her a place in hell.
She was not happy.
Well-written and well-said. This shines a terrific light on a lot of what’s wrong with humans. Imagine a world where we just loved, just for the sake of loving. It wouldn’t be much room for hate, would there?
Though it’ s hard, adults can better handle the ridicule of others, but children are still learning to be accepted. They spend their childhood trying to please adults. The type of experience the little girls endured is as senseless as telling a three-year-old “that they know better” and it breaks my heart. This stigma can’t be erased, not matter how many times a person says they’re sorry.
For those who harbor hateful opinions, look deep inside yourselves and ask, why do we feel that way? Are you projecting someone else’s opinion or is this how you truly feel? If so, why? Why is it okay not to accept others when you want to be accepted, too. Seriously, how are they personally hurting you and keeping you from enjoying your life?
For those who must endure this ignorance. I care and I’m so sorry. The people who hurt you, their issues are deeper than yours and for all the hate that’s lashed at you, know that their lives are miserable because of it.
Hi Eleanor. Thank you so much for reading and commenting. I’m glad you enjoyed the post and that it truly inspired deep thought and empathy. Feel free to re-blog it if you like to spread the word. I’m not sure if it fits with the content on your website but know you have my full permission.
It is truly sad, and I was so confused as a child about the whole thing. My moral compass just wasn’t ticking in the same direction theirs did and I think I knew then that I would always be an outsider in my own country, based on that alone. I feel it most for my LGBT friends. Imagine living in a shadow and shell of yourself to please society. Is it any wonder the LGBT has such high rates of suicide and depression?
Jamaica is getting better though, slowly but almost surely. The problem right now is not so much with my generation but the ones before. We are more accepting of it, but it’s the older generation that governs and sets the rules.
Such an interesting read! I completely had no idea about this dark side on the beautiful land of jamaica! This is seems kind of relatable to me! I am from Nepal and we dont have any kind of policy that states being gay is illegal but it isn’t socially acceptable to come out of closet either! Example I don’t have a single gay friend and by all of my heart I do believe in supporting LGBT community but at the same time there is a fear ticking inside me questioning myself “Is this socially acceptable ?” Maybe I feel this because of the environment i grew up in And I am not representing entire Nepal because at the same time trans rights are being amended and many organizations are thriving towards giving the people a open view towards the sexuality! And it seems very effective too! But there is still a fine line of difference between so called “norm” peep and LGBT community! the custom made boundary of normalcy in our society is creating rough patches which is really depressing! and every time I share these feelings with anyone like my classmate or neighbor or cousins all i get is”Why do you even care so much?” and unlike me all of them changed their profile picture on facebook which was edited with LGBT rainbow flag! The only difference is i dont believe in bragging on social medias making satements #lovewins rather i genuinely care them as my fellow human companions who deserve to have their own voices strong voices with mutual feeling of equality
This is interesting. Your friends don’t truly care about LGBT rights but post profile pictures that suggest they do? That’s odd.
It seems Nepal has a very similar culture of homophobia as there is in Jamaica. And even in America, thought it is ‘okay’ to come out of the closet, there are so many other reasons that keep them in there. For instance, families might not approve, or it could be detrimental to their career as CEOs and politicians.
I don’t understand why we, as human beings, believe we have a right to tell people who to love and how. I don’t think this is something states should regulate, as long as the two persons are consenting adults, and therefore capable of making that decision themselves.
Thanks so much for reading and commenting!
But looking at the brighter side Nepal is earning reputation as of one of the most LGBTI friendly country among south asian countries.
And you know people can be really cruel sometimes and some teens i personally know are just depressing as they show “fake” support on social medias! just because they think it’s trendy! BUT it is just my experience i am just a high school kid who havent even graduated so there is lot to see!!
Yes, there’s definitely more to see, but your experience is still very interesting. I didn’t know Nepal had recently gained such a reputation either. Why is that?
Nepal is also trying to legalize same sex marriages and people who are out of my experiences yet! are seemingly supporting and warm towards LGBTI but still i daresay that there is a culture of dislike behind the doors that we dont see in public! but on the other hand people are conducting programmes on society where trans people announce their true sexuality and from that moment they are free to live as trans. It is just something people are doing to inform each other that they are having changes. (Nepalese society have a tendency of being informed about major things personal or professional! it ain’t no rule but…. I dont know what it is tbh)
Well at least they are moving in the right direction. Jamaica has a long way even before it gets to that. Thanks again for sharing! 🙂
Thank you for replying and caring so much! you make us feel like we are friends not fans! that is soo generous of you
Haha. I like to hope you guys think of me as a friend too and not just another blogger. Thanks again. 🙂