Few people if any would describe me as sentimental. I’m known for being pragmatic, sometimes ruthlessly so. Every puzzle piece in my life must serve a purpose, and once it ceases to do so I start working out its exit strategy.
I try to play the same role in other people’s lives. I believe when we meet people and develop a relationship of any kind, we should leave them better than we found them. Too few of us are only there to take and take, and give nothing substantial in return.
Meet Sergio
Even so, there is one semi-sentimental attachment in my life I hang on to. His name is Sergio. He is dark-skinned, with big brown eyes, of medium build… and he’s a teddy bear. This Christmas makes it five years since he’s been in my life.
I’m so hopelessly attached to this bear that when I quit my job in Jamaica and came to America to be a nomadic writer, I brought teddy with me. Best believe I wrapped him in a towel and stuffed him in my suitcase.
“You really brought that thing up here with you?” Mom said teasingly, when I pulled him out and stuck him on my bed.
“Yes,” I answered unabashedly. “Of course I did!”
She smiled to herself, shook her head, and left the room. My mother understands perfectly well why Sergio isn’t going anywhere. He serves a unique purpose in my life that nothing else can.
A Reminder
So what is that purpose exactly?
Teddy is a constant reminder to me of how far I’ve come. Whenever times get tough and my whole life seems to be falling apart, I see teddy at bedtime and I remember that there was a time when life was much worse.
2011: The year when I was faced with the possibility of dropping out of college in the summer, because we couldn’t afford it anymore.
Mom had lost her job and my college degree had already drained her savings. We were barely getting by. But when I decided I still wanted to visit her in America during the Christmas season, she bought the ticket anyway.
The Disappointment
Though she was glad to see me, she was also disappointed in herself and maybe a little embarrassed as she told me she didn’t have the money to provide me with a good vacation. No more of those fancy lasagna TV dinners I loved. We couldn’t go out much. And we probably wouldn’t celebrate Christmas that year.
I was appalled. I already knew we were broke, and I knew full well we were lucky to have found the money for my last year of college. With all that on the table, I wondered why on Earth she thought I cared a fig about Christmas presents.
I was an easy-to-please-21-year-old. Give me access to WiFi and I would sit in a corner all day listening to music, writing, photo-manipulating, and playing video games. I barely even remembered to eat half the time.
Nevertheless, she needed the reassurance. “I don’t care,” I told her. “I didn’t come here for that.”
Tears brimmed in her eyes, and I changed the topic to something more pleasant. I told her I was expecting all A grades for the fall semester, and that I couldn’t wait to finish the new house I was building from scratch in The Sims.
The unpleasantness then took a backseat as we played catch-up on what I’d been up to since my last visit in the summer.
Pressing
As Christmas grew closer, Mom grew more and more anxious. The Christmas of 2010, I’d gotten an iPod. The Christmas before that, I got a new laptop. And every Christmas, I got $100 to spend on whatever I wanted.
This year Mom had none of that to offer.
Finally, it was a few days before Christmas. She had scraped together some funds and asked me what I wanted for the big day. I shrugged and told her I didn’t want anything. She pressed, but all she got for her efforts was silence.
Later that week, we did some last-minute shopping at a local dollar store. While I walked the aisles, I came across Sergio and all his brothers. I plucked him from the shelf, stuck him under my arm, and carried him around the store.
Mom found me a few aisles over looking at electronic toothbrushes.
“Do these work?” I asked about the brushes.
“Do you want one?”
“No.” I put it back.
“Do you want the bear?” she asked next.
“No, it’s okay.” I then stuck him back on the shelf to prove my point.
Christmas Day
I don’t remember if we even had a tree that year. But I remember being presented with Sergio, an electronic toothbrush, and $40 the following morning.
My mom was worried I wouldn’t like them. She apologised extensively, promising me she would get me better presents when she found a new job. But I was ecstatic to have the bear; and $40 was $40 more than I expected to have.
I’ve ditched the iPod, killed three laptops, and been through several phones in the past six years. Yet my dollar store teddy is still sitting on my bed, and has lived in two countries with me.
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Some people say Christmas is not about presents. It’s about family and friends and getting together. Yeah, sure. Christmas is definitely about the presents – if you know which ones to give. Even if it’s just a teddy from the dollar store, or the gift of companionship…
Happy Holidays, guys. May all your Christmas wishes come true!
Thanks for sharing! 🙂
OMG! I so get Sergio! When my husband died three years ago I bought this life-sized huge teddy bear. My in-laws, whom I live with, thought I was nuts…especially when I relegated them to the backseat, seat belting Teddy into the front (yeah! He’s THAT big). I have slept with Teddy ever since. He has heard my hopes and dreams. He’s been there when I have cried my eyes out and watched me laugh uncontrollably over silly things. I get it. Teddy was one of the best gifts I have ever given myself. Next to the real one that was my husband, Terry. Thank you for sharting your story about Sergio! May you and your family have an amazing and blessed New Year!
So sorry to hear about your husband. That must have been very hard for you, and I’m sure Teddy played a big role in helping you adjust.
A life sized teddy in the front seat must have been quite the sight though! Haha.
Hang on to him, and all the best for the holidays and 2017! 🙂
What a wonderful Christmas story, of a very special mother and daughter. May all your Christmases be filled with as much love.
Thank you Norah. I wish you all the best for 2017. 🙂
My bear’s name is Oscar and he was my first Christmas present when I was seven months old. He is now 57. I’m not even embarrassed how sentimental I feel about my bear. When our house was destroyed by a tornado, the first thing I asked my mom was whether she found Oscar. I can’t even talk about the number of nosebleeds and tears my bear absorbed.
Wow Kali. Your relationship has definitely weathered a few storms – literally and figuratively. I’m glad you still have your bear, and wish you both many more decades ahead.
You’re a role model for me and Sergio haha 🙂
I’ve got a teddy; a sheep that I call Shawn, I’ve had him for 12 years and he’s always had his rightful place in my bed.
12 years! Wow! What’s the story with Shawn?
Originally I bought him from a build a bear factory for my goddaughter when she was born as a welcome to the world present, but after I had gotten him home and was looking at him I decided that he was too sweet and innocent looking. So I ended up going back out and getting a different present for my goddaughter and keeping Shawn for myself. He’s been cried on and gets held all night every night
I didn’t know Build a Bear had been around for that long. They are so expensive now!
Teddies do have that amazing comforting quality. I recommend them to every female. Married or single.
Lovely story about the spirit of Christmas. Peace & Joy!
Thank you other Chateau. We might as well accept that we are blog sisters at this point 🙂
Sergio will continue to play a big role in my life for some time to come, esp as I slowly make my way up the ladder. In 5 years or so, his job will be to keep me humbled and down to Earth.
Merry Christmas and all the best for 2017 🙂
Blogging sisters forever, Alexis C. 🙂 Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Haha. Thanks hun 🙂
On the Feast Day of St. Francis, our priest blesses stuffed animals, recognizing how important they are in all our lives. For me it’s a blue bear I won at a carnival. My grandchildren always make sure I pack it when we travel. Peace and grace to you and Sergio.
You have an interesting priest! I’ve never heard of such a practice, but it’s definitely a good one, especially for children.
What’s the story with the blue bear? And you have grandchildren? Ha! Stop lying.
Thank you. Me and Sergio had a good snuggle last night. I am big spoon. 😂
All the best to you and yours for the holiday season!
The blessing of stuffed animals also has adult participants. I turn 70 in May, so I most assuredly have grandchildren! I won blue bear throwing darts at balloons!
70 in May? It’s Christmas Elizabeth. Neither Jesus nor Santa would approve of this whole lying business. Tsk tsk….
Oh wow. I’ve actually never thrown darts. Always thought I might be good at it, but it also looks like I might poke someone’s eye out by accident lol
Please look at My First Christmas taken in 1947!
Very impressive forgery. 🙂
I am sure your mother is very proud of you. She should also take a bow and be proud of herself. Enjoy the day and create wonderful memories with your friends and family.
Indeed she is haha. Thank you. I hope you have a great day ahead. All the best for the holidays and for 2017!
Merry Christmas!
Thanks Felicia!
May your Christmas be very Happy and your New Year be full of dreams come true,
xxx Massive Hugs xxx
Thanks David. I wish you the same as well. 🙂