6 Things I Love to Do Solo That My Family and Friends Totally Judge Me For

I’m an only child, which invariably means I’m pretty skilled at being alone. Couple this with the fact that I lived on my own for most of my teen and young adult years, and you have the recipe for someone who views time alone as time well spent.

This is not to say I don’t enjoy the company of family and friends, or that I don’t look forward to date night, or seeing my writing group on Tuesdays. But there is nothing quite like me, myself, and I, hanging solo.

So, what do “we” get up to? Here are six things I love to do on my own that my family and friends think are pretty darn weird.

1. Going to the Movies

The first time I went to the movies alone, I was a teenager. I had planned to meet friends at the theatre, but at the last minute, both friends got stuck at home.Β That first time was a little strange, since going to the movies in our teen years is less about the actual show and more about hanging out. Since then, however, I’ve developed a taste for sitting alone with my buttery popcorn and blue icy. The last movie me, myself, and I saw together wasΒ Black Panther.

2. Working Out

I go to the gym at least once per week. Sometimes I drag family and friends along, but most times I go alone. Often, when men see me at the gym, they approach me under the pretext of seeking a gym partner, claiming they get more done when they have someone else with them.

“I wouldn’t make a very good gym partner, then,” I tell them. “Even when I take people with me, I work out alone. I prefer it that way.”

3. Snorkelling

I haven’t done this in years, but in Jamaica, snorkelling alone was one of those daredevil things I did on the weekends that drove my mother crazy. It may not sound like much, but snorkeling alone is actually quite dangerous. The smallest recommended outing is in groups of three.

So, why did I choose to go out on my own, especially since I’m not a strong swimmer? Snorkelling was one of the best things about living on a tropical island, but few of my friends were really into it, and those who were rarely made the time. So, I could spend ten years waiting for them, or I could go alone. I chose the latter.

4. Hiking

The new solo-activity which drives my mother absolutely crazy is hiking. I started out solo-hiking in Atlanta, and then eventually travelled all the way up to New England to hike in Massachusetts and New Hampshire on my own. My mother is convinced that sooner or later I’ll be kidnapped, robbed, or otherwise assaulted for being out and about as a female on my own.

That may be true, but a life lived beneath the shadow of fear is a life not lived. I love hiking with Tristan out west, and a date-day on the trails is always a good one, but there is a bit of peace in walking those trails alone sometimes that cannot be denied.

5. Attending Concerts & Music Festivals

The first music festival or concert I attended by myself was Vans Warped Tour in 2017. My mother was so concerned by this that she almost bought tickets to attend, though she cannot stand rock music. I assured her I was fine and that I was looking forward to going on my own. I had an amazing time.

Going with friends to a multi-stage festival is always great, but it was just as great not having to negotiate about what acts to see and when was lunch time. Since then, I have been to one other concert on my own, where I saw Hollywood Undead, Deadset Society and Misty Eyed. I plan to see a lot more this year, with or without company!

6. Dining Out

Of all the things I enjoy doing on my own, this is the one my friends seem to find the strangest. When I take myself out to dinner, I bring a book and my Bluetooth Keyboard, making a date with words. While I eat, I read, and in-between waiting on food and the check, I write.

The only time I ever felt watched was when I did this in New England on my solo-trip. The waitress at the table across from mine looked thoroughly confused, not only by the fact that I was out eating alone, but that I was having a good time doing it.

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Do you also take yourself out on play dates? What are some of the amazing things you’ve done on your own, or would love to try? Tell me all about it in the comments, below? PS:- Hanging out alone on the couch doesn’t count. 😝

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77 thoughts on “6 Things I Love to Do Solo That My Family and Friends Totally Judge Me For

  1. I don’t see the problem in any of these. I feel that part of being a fully-functioning adult is the ability to do things in your own time and in your own way without needing company. I was separated in 2011 and got divorced in 2013. That time alone provided many challenges but it also allowed me to do whatever the hell I liked, go where I want and do what I want without having to answer to anybody else or justify myself.

    1. Oh and I also still go to the cinema on my own. My gf doesn’t like horror so I went to see IT: Chapter 1 and A Quiet Place on my own. Many people do it.

    2. I don’t think marriage should decide whether or not someone gets enough alone time. In fact, I think that’s when we need it most. However, I realise a lot of people only see that after the marriage or relationship ends and they are forced to be alone. Solo time is important for everyone, but is definitely more valuable to/valued by some more than others. 😊

      1. No it doesn’t, or shouldn’t, unfortunately the environment I was in meant many of my needs (especially alone time) were seen as irrelevant and unimportant.

        But we live and learn πŸ™‚

      2. I’ve lived through that as well. The solution was to withdraw my love and attention and pour it all over myself, haha. Sometimes we have to teach others how to treat us by giving them a demonstration.

        All the best!

  2. I do most of the above alone (except snorkelling). I also love travelling alone. If I waited for my friends and family (especially the “Black people don’t do that” crowd) I would have missed out on so many experiences.

    1. Buahahahaha! I know that “Black people don’t do that crowd”. If I listened to them, I wouldn’t get anything done either, and wouldn’t have enjoyed half the adventures I have. Isn’t it funny how some people are willing to limit their own opportunities and quality of life based on their race, but then get angry when other people do it for them? πŸ€”

  3. I do most things alone, but I feel like it’s hard for us to compare our experiences. The reason is that I’m a light-skinned man in a white supremacist and patriarchal society, and so am considerably safer on my own than most people in the US. That’s especially true now, when American fascism is more pronounced than it has been in the past few decades. So while I’m not judging you, I recommend you exercise caution when hiking or attending music festivals on your own. Having made it this far, I’m sure you know how to handle yourself.

    1. Thanks for the caution, Josh. I’m coming from the Third World where violence is a much bigger problem, though we don’t have mass shootings, bombings, war, or planes falling out of the sky. So I confess I am not always as careful as I could be a lot of the time.

      I do, however, keep an eye on men. My husband likes to tell the joke about the time he was told that 90% of rapes, crime and violence can be predicted by one genetic variation. When he asked what that genetic variation was, he was told it was the Y chromosome! He makes it a point to remind me whenever I seem to forget. I’ve often wondered if he’s trying to give me a hint about himself. πŸ˜‚

      1. Hahaha, I think so, too. But I take his point. It’s a healthy reminder, since most of my friends are men and I do travel with them often and just as often without him.

  4. It must be an only child thing. I used to go to the movies alone every Sunday after mass. I still go to the movies but rarely. The church going is almost non-existent. I also used to work out alone. I don’t work out at all anymore.

    I went on a solo European adventure in 2009, but I did meet up with friends and/or family, except in Paris and Rome, where I was completely on my own.

    I have a little one and a hubby but I still sometimes do some things solo, like shopping and gambling. πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜‹πŸ˜„

    1. It is a lot harder to get alone time after marriage and kids, but still so important. I’ve seen a lot of wives and mothers writing about losing themselves in those two rules. Even I, I think, lost a bit of myself in the earliest part of my marriage because I bought into the idea that we had to do everything together. It didn’t take long for me to learn that wouldn’t work, and I went back to living my own life. We can always meet in the middle! πŸ˜„

      1. Oh Alexis, that elusive middle. That almost impossible balance! We keep striving for that. Just a little more work, maybe I’ll be in the vicinity of a balanced life. πŸ™‚ No matter what, life is good and provided we acknowledge this and are grateful, it can only get better. Much love and hugs.

      2. I think I’ve found the middle, but it took me a while to get there. Also, not being a mum makes it a lot easier for me than it is for you. You are split between 3 people (yourself included) and for me, just 2.

        I’m not sure that will last forever though. My saving grace is the power of homework. What am I going to do when he graduates? πŸ˜‚

      3. True. 😊
        Once he graduates? We shall have discussions, exchanging experiences and ideas about the compromises. πŸ˜‹πŸ€—

  5. I love doing things alone. I enjoy going to the movies alone. I don’t get to do it often enough but when I do it is amazing!!! I love taking myself to lunch at a nice restaurant or Starbucks. I also enjoy going to the art galleries and museums. I have yet to take a trip alone but it is coming.

    With me becoming an empty nester I am learning to enjoy me time a little more. Thanks for the tips.

    1. I’ve been thinking of the movie pass one of my readers suggested in the comments, but I really don’t watch much of anything. I’ve been meaning to try the gallery and museum trips alone, but have yet to do so.

      Thanks for chatting with me!

  6. It’s not Weird at all. Instead of being frustated of not doing things we love because nobody can or want to do things with us, let’s be happy in going To movies, having a Nice walk in the forest. I do Γ  lot of things Alone and it’s great!

    1. I agree with you completely πŸ™‚

      Sorry for the late response! Somehow this ended up in my spam folder on WordPress.

  7. My favorite alone activity is going to museums. Even if I go,with someone, I ask to split up and meet at a specified future time. I like to decide what to look at and for how long.

    1. Interesting! I should try this. I’ve only ever been in groups. I wonder what kind of museums are around me in Atlanta. I believe there’s a civil rights museum right across from the coca cola building. That’s a good starting point. πŸ˜„

      1. It is hopeless to go in a group. Doesn’t Atlanta have an art museum? Let yourself move according to how you are feeling about a picture. Skip the information panels, just enjoy the art.

      2. It does. I’ve been to the art museum before, but not the civil rights one. I figured I could see what else there is before doubling back to what I’ve already seen. I also saw that bodies exhibit a few years ago. Now THAT was interesting!

      3. Let me know about the civil rights one. My grandchildren went to the Vicksburg Battlefield in Mississippi with their grandfather(my ex) and were pleased at the balance now present there. It wasn’t just a Confederate sob fest.

      4. It’s usually a confederate pride situation in Atlanta. Remember that confederate flag still proudly flying on top of Stone Mountain? I think the civil rights museum would be run by African Americans though, or at least heavily influenced by their interests or perspective, but we’ll see if they watered it down!

      5. I don’t understand how slavery and racism can be glorified, but to each their own. I know a lot of red necks probably go up there and weep for their ancestors and the loss of slaves. Good for them! πŸ˜‚

      6. This is true, but good luck convincing them of that, especially now. I have chosen to be amused rather than offended, or I find I could not be happy living in the south. I also try to steer myself away from being ethnocentric by reminding myself that we don’t have these issues in Jamaica, so anything I say will always be from the perspective of someone who has only ever witnessed the aftermath as an adult.

      7. Isn’t it amazing how many ways people can come up with to discount one’s opinions. Like what do you know–you aren’t from here.

      8. Yup, this is true. For me, they don’t bother saying “what do you know?”. It’s usually more a position of I don’t have a right to say those things. One guy told me how dare I criticise my “host country”, even though he admitted the things I said were true. Makes no sense to me.

      9. Well clearly, if you look in the Redneck English dictionary or thesaurus, right next to the word parasite is the word immigrant. πŸ™ƒ

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