Earlier this year, I wrote about Beyoncé’s politically charged Super Bowl performance and the scandal that arose in its wake. Half the world praised her for giving Black empowerment a moment in the media, while the other half branded her a racist and threatened to boycott her music.
Beyoncé made no apologies and paid no heed to the angry mob. Instead, she later followed up the performance with the release of Lemonade. Since its release, the album has inspired critical acclaim, a whole new host of pop culture references… and the witch hunt for one very elusive “Becky”.
In her song Sorry, Beyoncé stated:
He only want me when I’m not there He better call Becky with the good hair
Brilliantly Bad Decision
In hopes of capitalising on the spotlight thrown on Beyoncé yet again, two staffers of Glamour devised a brilliantly terrible plan. They fired back at Beyoncé’s Becky with the Good Hair by posting:
I had to see it to believe it. I couldn’t believe that anyone living in a multicultural society, like America or the UK, could be so bloody clueless as to why this would be inappropriate.
The responses on social media further brought perhaps the biggest embarrassment any lifestyle and entertainment brand has faced in quite some time.
Glamour Magazine is not Alone
But I would soon learn that Glamour staffers weren’t the only ones who didn’t quite get it. Many people actually have no idea what this means.
The following day, while Michael and I drove back from the gym, I asked him if he had heard about the incident.
To put things into context here, let me just inject the necessary detail that my husband is White.
Michael raps, has more Black friends than I do, and knows more about Ebonics than I will ever care to learn. Yet, even he was clueless as to why the article was offensive, and as to what on Earth the phrase “Becky with the good hair meant”.
“Isn’t that the whole thing about Jay-Z cheating on Beyoncé?” he asked me.
“Becky isn’t the point. Don’t you know what ‘good hair’ means?” I asked incredulously.
He didn’t.
It was at that moment that I had to step back and re-evaluate what I believed should have been common knowledge and fairly obvious. After all, I come from a predominantly Black country, whereas America is… well… America.
So let me explain why this is not just another minority-tantrum like the many that make it through the media.The History Lesson
Of all the angry tweets directed at Glamour, this one summed up the root of the problem best.
The keywords here are “historical significance”. This is because the phrase good hair wasn’t coined by Beyoncé for Lemonade, or even by 90s rap. It’s been a part of the Black Movement and the Black struggle since the days of slavery, and is deeply rooted in the journey of Black women (and men) from properties to human beings.
To keep slaves compliant, they were taught that their natural features made them somehow less worthy of rights and freedoms than other races. This primarily included the colour of their skin, and the texture of their hair. Coincidentally, these are the two most distinguishing features of what it means to be Black.
After slavery, as civil rights movements took shape and Blacks received their first chance of assimilating into regular society, these differences posed a problem. But while Black skin brought no inherent inconveniences besides people’s personal biases, Black hair did.
Let me explain how.
The Struggle is Real
For most Black women, our hair is still a part of that daily struggle – especially in an era where personal appearances mean so much. Our friends of other ethnic groups and mixes can easily throw their hair into a ponytail in five seconds. But our frizzy hair obeys no law and no man.
Even in the corporate world, many of us are forced to ditch our natural hair, because corporate thinks our kinky locks are too naughty for regular business operations. And at my Catholic school, every ethnic hair-do was banned in the rule books, and as we tried new ones – like my signature Mickey Mouse puffs in seventh grade – those were quickly outlawed, too.
But ironically, the people who notice our hair the most? – is us. While other teenagers mostly worried about body image issues and acne, we worried about that and our hair. Maybe mostly our hair.
Many of us have tried everything – perms, presses, cornrows, braids, and just cutting the damn thing off. Sometimes we’ve done so much crap to it, it just falls off on its own…
And all of that to conform to what regular society decides is good hair – which is essentially not our stubborn kinky hair. Good hair is the Black Community’s bitterly-spoken name for obedient, soft, silky smooth locks of the Mixed, the Asians, Latinas, and of course White folks.
It’s worry-free hair; the hair of the models they put in Pantene ads, and the girls on Pinterest with an effortless bun on the top of their heads.
In contrast, our naturally dry, frizzy hair is bad hair. We are taught from an early age through dolls, school rules, corporate expectations, and the media that our genetically gifted natural hair is not sufficient, fashionable, or appropriate.
To soften the message, the media often puts forward an image that kinky (or nappy hair) looks like this:
This is true to an extent, but more accurately, this is what African hair looks like when a woman is mixed. In other words, if Michael and I had a daughter, she would likely have a similar hair type to either of these two women. Often times, these hair-types become grouped with good hair because it’s “less Black”.
But for most of us, our hair looks a bit more like this:
Imagine trying to get hair that kinky to meet society’s professional, beautiful, and neat standards, like these Beckys with the Good Hair.
And then imagine the overwhelming pressure to meet these expectations. We quite literally get chemical burns from relaxers and heat burns from press combs just trying to keep up. As one tweep summed it up nicely:
The Way Forward
Of course, things are changing now. Many corporations “allow” us to wear our natural hair without causing a fuss. I, for instance, wore my dreadlocks when I worked at Xerox Business Services.
Similarly, many magazines, fashion shows, and movies also feature Black women who embrace their natural heritage; whether they have bad hair, good hair or something in-between.
As we grow older we learn what works for us, and we accept that we’ll just have to spend more time and more money on making our bad hair good enough to meet societal expectations.
In fact, Beyoncé made a strong statement by refusing to chemically alter her daughter’s hair – at least, not yet. However, when that same Queen Bey – the most powerful female symbol in the Black Community – hires a team to make her look like a Becky with the Good Hair, you know we still have a ways to go…
Thank you for sharing this, I for one also didn’t know what “good hair” meant, but I also didn’t know that calling a white woman Becky was offensive until Iggy Azealia pointed it out! Shall we all agree that Lemonade is controversial all around!? X
Haha. Well I stayed clear of the Becky portion because as a Jamaican that’s not a part of our dialect. I never heard that until the song.
I know Becky as a slang for vagina, sex, or head. Not a woman.
Iggy is an Australian. I wouldn’t call her much of an expert on African American culture, rapper or no. But point taken! Thanks for dropping by. 🙂
I am British and had never heard of either, I bet everyone all over the world are interpreting everything differently I guess! I think Queen Bee did what she set out to do and that was to get us all talking 🙂
This is true. Nothing suits an artist better than controversy, I think.
Loved your post! Please follow! ❤️ not to mention as the mother of a biracial son, and the topic of hair, I could really use some tips on how to manage his hair. He’s at a point where he hates his curls and wants to have “normal” hair but I want him to feel comfortable and love the curls but if I don’t know how to take care of them it won’t help him any. Suggest any products? It’s just very fuzzy and big. Would love to get more curl definition
Hi, I’m following you.
Having a biracial child does have its challenges both for parent and child. For guys it’s a little easier because he can simply keep his hair short and that usually takes care of that.
You can also bringing him to a salon which specifically deals with his hair type. They can usually suggest the best products based on his texture. Unfortunately, because of the non-uniform texture of our hair, products work on a case by case basis.
To detangle use combs with bigger spaces, and keep his hair moisturised. Don’t wash it too often either. Black hair shouldn’t be washed more often than once a week, or it strips our natural oils. Curlier hair can probably be washed twice a week. We don’t retain oils as easily as other hair types.
As for his idea of “normal hair”, you may need to work to fix his definition of that. I’m not sure how though..
This was soooo well presented! Here in the Caribbean we have lots of mixed raced individuals, of which I am one but how ‘good’ is my hair? How kinky should it NOT be? LOL. I was struggling to come up with the answers. Anyway I think my biggest takeaway was the concluding sentence: “However, when that same Queen Bey – the most powerful female symbol in the Black Community – hires a team to make her look like a Becky with the Good Hair, you know we still have a ways to go…” – Amen to that! Great job though in clearing this up for a lot of us 🙂
Thank you so much Gale! Yes, I’m also from the Caribbean and my family has varying degrees of hair textures.
My mom has what many would call “good hair” though to her it’s unmanageable. Dreadlocks have worked great for me. I’ve learned to define good hair as healthy hair. We just have to learn what works for us.
Ótimo
Brialliant post! I have since embraced my kinky hair,knots and all. I just love being me and am glad my decision to remain natural has encouraged a whole lot of people to accept their hair and to know that with little attention and applying the right product it will come out beautiful, soft and manageable.It was a great read…following.
Thank you for reading and following! My decision to rock my natural hair inspired a few friends as well.
Of course everyone is free to make their own choice, but my personal belief is that black hair wasn’t meant for combs and brushes so I rock dreadlocks. Now it doesn’t matter what products I use and I can wash and go, or throw it in a ponytail like anyone else. Suits me great. I recommend it.
Thanks for this great information. I have always sensed that this phrase has something connected to the Black Struggle, though a West African (Nigerian), I can relate with your translation. These days this cultural revolution is beginning to affect most black females, including I, positively: they are accepting the kink and learning various new ways to manage it. The media really created an avenue for this misunderstanding. Thanks. I enjoyed reading this.
Yes, science is catching up and looking for ways to help us manage our hair. Whatever our take on hair, no one can deny how difficult it is to manage ours as opposed to others. For me, dreadlocks was the answer. So hassle free. I absolutely love it.
I really enjoyed this post!!
Check out my blog if you get the chance 😀 <3 🙂
Thank you!