“Judge not lest ye be judged”, but when you step into LA Fitness, it’s hard not to.
Up until the spring of 2018, I was a member of Planet Fitness (PF). I loved working out at their facilities, but I wanted access to a swimming pool, so I made the difficult switch to LA Fitness. That switch was one hell of a culture shock and I have yet to fully recover.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I do think the machines at PF are better and that their environment is a lot more friendly. I also miss the hydro-massage chair like it’s nobody’s business! 😭 However, I love the sauna, swimming pool, and hot tub at LA Fitness and wouldn’t give them up for anything at this point.
Even so, while working out at PF, I often heard of how intimidating it could be at LA Fitness. Now that I’m a member, I can definitely see why. But, rather than intimidate me, I’m more amused than anything else. So, here are four types of people at LA Fitness that I insist on judging—guilt free.
1. The Fashionista
If you don’t like being sweaty and out of breath, the gym is probably not the best place for you—unless it’s LA Fitness. At LA Fitness, there are a lot of women who seem to think the gym is a fashion show. These are the women who walk around half-naked with nails, lashes, and ten layers of makeup.
Sometimes they are the hardest working women in the gym, to be honest, but nine times out of ten, they aren’t doing a damn thing but prancing around and messing with their phones.
2. The Phone Addict
That brings me to the second offender: the phone addict. I see both males and females do this, but I think women tend to be worse with this than men. Men often take selfies while flexing in front of the mirror-walls. Women, however, will often sit on the same machine for half an hour scrolling through Instagram.
Then they yawn, stretch, and go home after posting some bathroom selfies of how hard they’ve been working out, to their Instagram feed. Catch them two months later and they’ll be wondering why they aren’t seeing any results from all their “hard work”.
3. The Filth Lord
When I worked out at PF, it was considered a gym rule and common courtesy to wipe down the machines after use. In fact, this has been the rule in every gym I have ever been to, even in Jamaica. But, not so at LA Fitness! Even at PF, however, women almost always wiped down the machines; men often did not. Because of this, the workers at the gym often wiped down the machines themselves.
At LA Fitness, I have seen many a confused face looking in my direction as I wipe down the machine not just before, but after use. Since then, I’ve seen many women doing this. But the men. Never. Do. Can you imagine what their homes are like? Gods forbid they have to do something terrible like clean up after themselves! I give them all the side-eye when I have to use the machine after them.
4. Johnny Bravo
The complement to the Fashionista is good ol’ Johnny Bravo. He usually looks like he’s been swallowing more steroids than veggies and walks around swaggering from side to side with his arms sticking out, because they’re too big. His shirt is often too small for his tits, which will probably be bigger than yours. He carries around a gallon jug of water, drops the weights a lot, and grunts and groans to draw attention to himself.
I always hope one of them will drop a weight on their toes. So far, no luck. To make matters worse, he is usually also a Filth Lord…
Do you have these or other types of people at your gym that make you cock an eyebrow, roll your eyes, or throw up a little? Share your stories in the comments below! If you are one of these people, I make no apologies for my rudeness. Y’all need to quit! 😅😂🤣