“Judge not lest ye be judged”, but when you step into LA Fitness, it’s hard not to.
Up until the spring of 2018, I was a member of Planet Fitness (PF). I loved working out at their facilities, but I wanted access to a swimming pool, so I made the difficult switch to LA Fitness. That switch was one hell of a culture shock and I have yet to fully recover.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I do think the machines at PF are better and that their environment is a lot more friendly. I also miss the hydro-massage chair like it’s nobody’s business! 😭 However, I love the sauna, swimming pool, and hot tub at LA Fitness and wouldn’t give them up for anything at this point.
Even so, while working out at PF, I often heard of how intimidating it could be at LA Fitness. Now that I’m a member, I can definitely see why. But, rather than intimidate me, I’m more amused than anything else. So, here are four types of people at LA Fitness that I insist on judging—guilt free.
1. The Fashionista
If you don’t like being sweaty and out of breath, the gym is probably not the best place for you—unless it’s LA Fitness. At LA Fitness, there are a lot of women who seem to think the gym is a fashion show. These are the women who walk around half-naked with nails, lashes, and ten layers of makeup.
Sometimes they are the hardest working women in the gym, to be honest, but nine times out of ten, they aren’t doing a damn thing but prancing around and messing with their phones.
2. The Phone Addict
That brings me to the second offender: the phone addict. I see both males and females do this, but I think women tend to be worse with this than men. Men often take selfies while flexing in front of the mirror-walls. Women, however, will often sit on the same machine for half an hour scrolling through Instagram.
Then they yawn, stretch, and go home after posting some bathroom selfies of how hard they’ve been working out, to their Instagram feed. Catch them two months later and they’ll be wondering why they aren’t seeing any results from all their “hard work”.
3. The Filth Lord
When I worked out at PF, it was considered a gym rule and common courtesy to wipe down the machines after use. In fact, this has been the rule in every gym I have ever been to, even in Jamaica. But, not so at LA Fitness! Even at PF, however, women almost always wiped down the machines; men often did not. Because of this, the workers at the gym often wiped down the machines themselves.
At LA Fitness, I have seen many a confused face looking in my direction as I wipe down the machine not just before, but after use. Since then, I’ve seen many women doing this. But the men. Never. Do. Can you imagine what their homes are like? Gods forbid they have to do something terrible like clean up after themselves! I give them all the side-eye when I have to use the machine after them.
4. Johnny Bravo
The complement to the Fashionista is good ol’ Johnny Bravo. He usually looks like he’s been swallowing more steroids than veggies and walks around swaggering from side to side with his arms sticking out, because they’re too big. His shirt is often too small for his tits, which will probably be bigger than yours. He carries around a gallon jug of water, drops the weights a lot, and grunts and groans to draw attention to himself.
I always hope one of them will drop a weight on their toes. So far, no luck. To make matters worse, he is usually also a Filth Lord…
Do you have these or other types of people at your gym that make you cock an eyebrow, roll your eyes, or throw up a little? Share your stories in the comments below! If you are one of these people, I make no apologies for my rudeness. Y’all need to quit! 😅😂🤣
LOL! I don’t get the phone thing at all. When I used to go to the gym I only used my phone to listen to my favourite tunes ro help with the rhythm of things. Some people should join a modelling club instead or just stay at home. And yes, it was expected to clean the machines after use and I often saw people doing ithe and so did I.
I don’t understand the phone thing either. I only use it on machines that are hands free if I’m likely to get bored on it, like the bike machine. Mostly I just use it for music.
People who don’t wipe down machines have a special place in hell waiting for them, especially the ones who wipe a machine before they use it but not after. 🙄
Selfish folk everywhere! 😦
Haha! This is hilarious. Thanks for the LOL this morning. Our gym is a no-frills affair run as a charity by councils around the country so I guess we don’t have the top of the range equipment. I must say I’ve only ever seen a Number 2 at our local. Maybe a variation on the Number 4. They don’t spend all their time staring the mirror but they do make a lot of noise, grunting worse than a whole herd of female tennis players while lifting weights.
LOL! You’re so very welcome! I wonder if any of them will have the nerve to tackle me in the comments 😆😄
I don’t think LA Fitness has top of the line equipment. Planet Fitness was so much better, but I’ve only been to one LA Fitness and tonnes of Planet Fitness centers, so it’s not an entirely fair judgement to make.
Do your number 4s walk around with the gallon jug and the arms sticking out too?? They kill me with that walk! 😄 It’s like a waddling duck!
No. I’m afraid that appears to be an American quirk
Haha, you better hope they don’t infect you anytime soon.
You totally get a pass for judging these ones😆😁
They need help. Who raised these people?? 👀
Obviously, they were raised by wolves.
My pet peeve is the person who sits at a machine looking at their phone. One day I even encountered someone camping out at a machine reading a book.
I am that asshole who will keep going up to them every five minutes to ask if they’re done with the machine until they get annoyed and leave. 🙄 The worst part is they always do that on that special machine that there’s only one of!
I can handle an occasional groan, but the stream of grunts that sound way too sexual drive me insane. Who are they kidding?
Hahahahaha! I have NO idea why they do that, especially when they’re usually surrounded by way more men than women.
Hahaha! You nailed it! Especially no.3. And unfortunately you also have perverts.
Thank you! I haven’t run into any perverts so far. The guys have been mostly respectful, minus their macho antics.
There was a man who would just hang around inside the gym, never work out and just ogle women.
Seriously?? Why didn’t they throw him out? Did he have a membership?
He had a membership. You had to scan your membership at the front desk. Several women complained about him to the staff including my best friend’s wife and he was confronted about his behavior. But as long as he didn’t make any physical contact or make any sexually suggestive remarks to the women there was nothing the gym could do about it. But after he was confronted he tried to disguise his ogling by doing extremely light workouts. Needless to say, we ended our membership with that gym.
Which gym was that? That was a stupid thing to do. They could have cancelled his membership and received formal complaints in writing from the members who were affected. Instead they lost a whole set of perfectly good people. SMH.
I know, right? It was a Gold’s Gym first then it became El Paso Fitness.
Ha! They got put out of business then. I wonder why…
and those are the reasons i dont go to the gym. lol
and why i look the way i do. lol
Hahaha! I’m not letting any of these idiots ruin my fitness goals. Also, this is just LA Fitness. Planet Fitness wasn’t like this at all.
I can’t stop laughing!!! LOL LOL LOL – I’ve seen all these at the gym, it’s a little intimidating but I don’t know….there’s always those ones that are doing TOO MUCH of nothing. #showoffs
I wonder what they REALLY think we think of them when they do these things?? Surely, they must think it’s pretty cool or attractive, or they would stop! @_@
Exactly!!! Lol..
Oh, and the ones that grunt and all that crap also drive me crazy when they are counting loudly. Like seriously, shut up I don’t care what rep you’re on I’m trying to silently count my own, dude!
Buahahahaha! I don’t have any loud counters. Just the groans and grunts. They get on my last nerve!
At my gym, the loud counters are usually also the grunters. Lol
Who invented these types of men?? Why do we need them in society? 😆
If I hear a man grunting while working out my assumption is that he’s bitten off more than he can chew. How can that be attractive??
For real. 😆
Yeah, I agree. Not attractive at all!
Ha-loved this!
Thanks Mecca!!